Illustration by Rachel James
You might not consciously think you know what the future holds for you personally, but I’m guessing that your unconscious mind has a better idea. It may not be so very hard to access the reality you are moving towards. The other day, as part of a very basic introduction to the Psycho-therapeutic modality of Transactional Analysis, I participated in a group exercise that partially demonstrated the idea of ‘Life Scripts’… and ol’ bigmouth here enjoyed it so much she wants to get you all on board.
Eric Berne’s theory states that we plot out our life story in our first four years on the planet and that by gaining awareness of what has been scripted we can work to change our paths. The exercise was a simple visualisation technique, designed to get in touch with preconceived ideas we hold deep down. The effect it had on me was profound (and I’m up against it with any sort of meditative practice these days, as I’ve now watched David Lynch’s Inland Empire seven times in an attempt to understand it and every time I start the deep breathing I have to sweep away an image of Laura Dern’s traumatised face before I can relax).
I propose that the exercise could be removed from the context of therapeutic practice and considered a damn good game you can play on your own. But let’s be clear about ethics; doing this is not therapy. This is not scientific. Engaging with it is however, a little more challenging than listening to ‘Tape Two of Let Go with Alan Partridge’, so make sure you are in the right mood to be emotionally honest with yourself.
Things you will need:
A warm, comfortable, quiet space (no music, pref. low lighting)
At least forty minutes alone without interruptions
Phone / clock with alarm function (top tip: set the alarm tone to something soothing / neutral)
Are you ready to play?
Good. Here we go…
Now, tonight is a very special evening for you. You’re going to the theatre to see a play all about your life. That’s right, a play, all about YOU.
Ask yourself, who am I with? What is the title of the play? What is the theatre like? – A West End masterpiece of architecture or an Am-Dram community hall space? Can you smell anything? Is there music playing? What are you wearing? Take your time to really imagine you are there.
Now visualise a safe space in case the going gets tough and you need somewhere to retreat to, away from those difficult memories; perhaps a private booth with a foot spa, a bottle of Prosecco and some delicately arranged sushi… or maybe you’re more the Batman duvet, X-box and a six-pack type.
Set your alarm for five minutes. Read this paragraph and then close your eyes and consider the scene until the timer goes off:
The curtain is raised. It’s the scene of your birth and you are watching yourself be born. Where are you? – In a hospital, the back of a taxi, a birthing pool? What is happening to you? What’s going on in the room? Who is there? What is your mother doing? Does she hold you? Are you healthy? How do you feel? Is there music playing? Can you smell anything?
Re-set your alarm for five minutes. Read this paragraph and then close your eyes and consider the scene until the timer goes off:
The curtain is raised. It’s a scene from your early childhood. What is happening? Who is there? How are you feeling? Is there music playing? Can you smell anything?
Re-set your alarm for five minutes. Read this paragraph and then close your eyes and consider the scene until the timer goes off:
The curtain is raised. It’s a scene from your Adolescence. What is happening? Who is there? How are you feeling? Is there music playing? Can you smell anything?
Re-set your alarm for five minutes. Read this paragraph and then close your eyes and consider the scene until the timer goes off:
The curtain is raised. It’s a scene from your Early Adulthood. What is happening? Who is there? How are you feeling? Is there music playing? Can you smell anything?
Re-set your alarm for five minutes. Read this paragraph and then close your eyes and consider the scene until the timer goes off:
The curtain is raised. You have reached middle-age. (It doesn’t matter if you’re not there yet, let your imagination do the work) What is your life like? What is happening? Who is there? How are you feeling? Is there music playing? Can you smell anything?
Re-set your alarm for five minutes. Read this paragraph and then close your eyes and consider the scene until the timer goes off:
The curtain is raised. You are old now. (It doesn’t matter if you’re not there yet, let your imagination do the work) What is your life like? What is happening? How does it feel to be you? Who is there? Is there music playing? Can you smell anything?
Re-set your alarm for five minutes. Read this paragraph and then close your eyes and consider the final scene of the play until the timer goes off:
The curtain is raised. You are watching you own funeral. Is it a celebration of your life, an elaborate burial or quick cremation? Who is there? How are you feeling? Is there music playing? Can you smell anything? Can you see your epitaph?
Turn off the alarm and disregard your timer. Read this last paragraph and then close your eyes and consider it until you are ready to stop playing the game:
The play is over. The curtain comes down. So how was that for you? Are you still with the same person / people you arrived with? – Are you alone now? Did you enjoy the show? How are you feeling as you leave the theatre? Has the title of the play changed?
What the fuck does it all mean?
Words by Rachel James
Disclaimer: Exercise appropriated from TA training and probably various New Age self-awareness workshops. Not to be ascribed any particular value when used alone in the bedroom, not in conjunction with any greater wisdom.