For me, ‘best gig of the year so far’ goes to Joe Watson, performing in a pub basement to twenty-odd randoms and acquaintances. Experiencing his work made me feel a bit like a child on discovering that Santa’s grotto has suddenly appeared next to BHS in the shopping mall. Not only was I able to lose my sense of the room at certain times within the euphonic electronic noise but when I opened my eyes again there was the visual treat of an enlarged projection of Joe’s hands fiddling with parts that might have been nicked from a space-ship flight deck. read more

I like medical things; the smell of disinfectant, a surgical glove stretched over a cold tense hand, stainless steel speculums with their smooth finish and seductive shape, the resistance caused by application of pressure to the plunger of a fluid filled syringe… and the glide and squirt of liquid from the tip of a long, hollow needle. Of course, I don’t perform surgery with my impedimenta, I just keep it in a box under my bed and every so often I take it all out, examine it and then hide it all away again. read more

Your line, ‘lick and finger every other mortal with whom he comes into close proximity in this sacred space’, did you nick that from Sade? You devil you!

My only shenanigans tonight have been eating homemade chocolate brownies at a friend’s house just up the road from my own. Out-of-this-world tasty. Oh wherefore art thou self-control? I can’t stop feeling horny. I literally cannot stop…

I hadn’t heard these before. Very entertaining. I just listened to them in the kitchen with my housemates whilst we attempted to make three separate meals in one square foot of space. It lifted the atmosphere, which had been charged with frustration and exasperation from all the clambering over each other and fighting for utensils. Sometimes I wonder if it’s every British mans destiny to end up a dirty old perv, having surreptitious lonely wanks over the sprawling tits of brainless, hapless females they will never meet. read more

Illustration by Rachel James

You might not consciously think you know what the future holds for you personally, but I’m guessing that your unconscious mind has a better idea. It may not be so very hard to access the reality you are moving towards. The other day, as part of a very basic introduction to the Psycho-therapeutic modality of Transactional Analysis, I participated in a group exercise that partially demonstrated the idea of ‘Life Scripts’… and ol’ bigmouth here enjoyed it so much she wants to get you all on board. read more